A lil buzzed.... a lil happy..... a lil down.... and a lil lost........

Just got home from a great home cooked Indian food house party..... and I think I had just a lil too much white wine...... hehe.... :)

Rite now... I'm feeling a lil buzzed.... a lil happy..... a lil down.... and a lil lost........ and as always, when I'm a lil buzzed I like pouring random stuff that's in my head onto a blank blog space....

It so funny how I'm having difficult time relaxing...... I got used to working so hard for a decade that I feel more at home working my *ss off every single minute craving and dreaming time off from everything (yeah I know, I'm sick man....) ..... but when I have just that, trying to give myself a long break is becoming more of a chore that I'm not relaxing at all..... I know I'm not making much sense.... and cuz of this..... I'm feeling a lil down and lost..... Ai.....

It's soooo funny.... I feel like I'm going thru that late teen/early 20s time where u r trying to figure things out but dun exactly know how to........ lol.... omg..... I feel sooo silly now....

Oh well.... am sure things will be better when I wake up tom..... :)

Nite nite...... ....dun let the bedbugs bite.....

So.... who r u?

I'm realising the word "friendship" is becoming a real convenience.....

So, I've done myself a BIG favor of deleting a whole bunch of "so-called-friends" (>100 of them) from my friend list on FB sometime ago..... My criteria for deleting was : when I look at the name and if I say "Who the h*ck is this?", or we never really bother to even say "Hi! How r u doin?" after adding each other as friends, or I dun think, mutually, we'd really care to know wots going on in each other's life.....

As I mature (tho I think I still have a long way to go.... lol....), I'm coming to a point where I'm taking a different approach and meaning to a "friendship".... It seems, to me, there are 3 types of friends... those who pass by your life, those who leaves foot marks, and those who stays wi you.....

Hmmm..... And I'm sitting here wondering, who I am to my friends...... I hope to be remembered, at the very least, in their fondest memories, if I can't stay on with them.... :)

So..... who r u?

I'm a FOB having the FOB-Blues....

Last nite, I was at my friend's patio enjoying the BBQ and the fireworks, and having a great chat (u know the kind that u just felt soooo in same wave length and pace....)... :)

And funnily enuf today is one of the days where u feel u r sooo not in the same wave length wi some of the people u r hanging out wi..... lol...... hmmm...... makes me wonder if that is really the age gap or just the preference of the topics that you'd be be hoping to have on a breezy & lazy Sunday nite..... or may be it was really the lack of the common-ess of the topic, or may be its my lack of English conversing skills... (yup... Me speak No English-y!! lol....) or may be I'm just lacking the new-late 20's socialising skills..... (though I dun think, I'm that much older..... lol.....), or could be that I'm just wi the wrong crowd (?!?).....

Ummm.... I'm definitely NOT complaining... and am very grateful to some of the friends that I met here who's been nothing but sweet..... but somehow, I just dun know how to exactly put a finger to it, and explain exactly wot it is tonite..... >.<"

Well... as time goes by, I'm realising, one of the most fun yet challenging aspect starting out as a FOB (this is wot the Canadians call the new immigrants i.e. Fresh Off the Boat... lol....) is that you are no-longer in your comfort zone -- where u know u dun have to make a conscious effort to talk but just be completely urself cus u know it's REALLY OKAY and cus u know ur closest friends would understand u do need that lil time off, rite next to them......

Socialising or meeting new people is a very simple yet so complicated process, and tonite is one of those days, where I just hope I was in my comfort zone......

Yeah.... I'm a FOB.... having the FOB-Blues tonite..... So pls.... go easy on me....... ;)